USA Hockey Magazine

August 2019

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Illustrations by Michael Iver Jacobson Dear Out of Control Sports Parent, You. Yeah, you. The one shouting "Get the puck!" The one with the heart palpitating so loudly that you cannot contain yourself. The one complaining about the coach. The one hollering at the 13-year- old referee. The one angry at my kid for making a mistake. The one hollering at the kids who made a mistake running the clock in a recreational tournament in a meaningless pool play game. Yeah, you, the one whose spouse won't sit next to you during the game. The one who is micromanaging every aspect of the game and turning what would be a pleasant Saturday morning into a heightened state of anxiety for all of us, including your fellow parents stuck next to you for today's game, this season, and our kids' childhoods. PLEASE STOP! PLEASE CALM DOWN! Do you notice the normal sports parents sitting next to you who are quiet? Did you even look at us? You probably didn't. Do you know what we are thinking? Well, I've listened to you holler in my ear all game, so now it's my turn. Your noise pollution is ruining my day and my experience as a parent. You don't have the right to dominate over all of us sitting here watching and cheering like normal sports par- ents. You don't have the right to keep blocking my view as you jump up to contest another call, or express your frustration at another mistake by an 11-year-old. 22 // AUGUST 2019 USAHOCKEYMAGAZINE.COM

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